By: Lord Jonathan ‘Pip’ Thornberry
It’s Monday night, week 2 has just wrapped up and Haters Gonna Hate manager Jeffrey Herrington is seated behind a large Mahogany desk holding a Cohiba in his right hand. It seems an odd time to be lighting a victory cigar as Haters have stumbled out of the gate to a 0-2 start.
“We’ll be fine,” he says, reflecting on the uncharacteristic early season struggles. “I’m just focused on the terrific start the JB4 have gotten off to. 6-2 combined? Two of the top three in the table? I’m loving what these guys are doing right now.”
JB4 (Jeffrey’s Boys 4) are the four promising rookie managers: John Cooper (Car Ramrod), Randall Herrington (F.C. Pitch Punters), Faris Sardar (The Muchados) and Zaen Sardar (TBD) brought into the SuperLiga this season by the legendary Haters manager.
Pre-season Rookie of the Year candidate John Cooper has an early victory despite the cruel loss of his lone goal keeper in back to back games due to red cards.
“John’s got what we would call ‘big-time potential’,” Jeffrey comments. “I think you’re going to see him in the hunt late for a banner (top 4 finish). The sky’s the limit.”
Randall Herrington bounced back from a season opening loss with a win this past weekend on the strength of his early-adopter Kun Aguero move.
“I can’t imagine the pressure on Randall having to come in and play in what is such a large shadow cast by that Haters name,” Jeffrey observes. “5 banners in 5 years? Are you serious? It’s hard to believe we’re talking about the possibility of Haters hanging a 6th banner in as many years. As you can imagine those are some large footprints to have to follow in. But I think he’ll do just fine.”
Jeffrey gets up from behind his desk and turns to pull down a photo off the wall behind him.
“These two right here are my crown jewels,” he says, holding up a framed picture of Faris and Zaen Sardar. “These are my special boys.”
Special indeed. Two games in and the Sardar brothers are 4-0 combined. As the chorus of haters grows louder these two appear only to be getting stronger. Their attitudes at this point are reminiscent of Jeffrey’s “Fueled by Hate” motto from last season.
“What you have with these two is a competitive spirit and drive that’s hard to match,” Jeffrey says. “We could be looking at a Charlie-Eddie Murphy type combo here.”
This weekend the master gets his first crack at one of his students. One would expect the outcome against Faris Sardar and the Muchados is of secondary concern to the thrill that must come for the Haters’ manager with lining up against one of the JB4 for the first time.
“Hold up now, don’t get it twisted,” Jeffrey says after returning the photo back to its place on the wall. “I need a motherfuckin’ win. Sure, I’m proud of what these guys have done, but I’m going to bury this son of a bitch.”
Spoken with the confidence that only a true champion could possess (while technically having never actually won a championship).
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